Here is some sharing from our Hashira workshop earlier this year. It was about feeling more and feeling deeper about what is happening during tying - on the emotional level.
In short: if you – as a rope bottom – want to have an emotional experience in ropes, then have an emotional experience. It is not that the rigger brings it to you… It is your choice – to feel.
Generally, we get better at what we exercise. We are what we exercise. If we are looking to develop our capacity to feel more, feel our emotions deeper and more clearly or intensely, we need to commit to the practice of feeling.
What does it mean, practically?
During that hashira workshop, our demo exercise was particularly emotional. It was my choice to go there, to open up myself to feeling what was there between my partner and me at that very moment.
I don’t know if you have ever wondered how the workshop models feel during the demo in the class. It is not an easy job. By definition, it’s not a private session. At least, my partner’s teaching approach is such that most of his attention is with the class, with the students. His intention at this moment is not about celebrating the moment with me. We want however to offer the most authentic demonstration we can to convey the point, which often goes beyond technique, and often to the realm of connecting and communicating with each other.
I like to share what I do at these moments as a way of maybe suggesting what the intentional practice of feeling could look like.
I intentionally come into my body. Find out what is going on there. It is not about going away with thoughts and fantasies. It is about attending to whatever takes place in my body. Quite literally, like tension, temperature, movement sensations. Pressure in my chest, squeeze in my stomach… restless feet.
Hint: the sensations in our upper body (closer to the chest), are often easier to notice than the extremities.
I would pick one “theme” and stay with it. Let’s say I focus on the tension in my chest. As my attention goes there, the sensation will intensify. It will grow, pulsate, become more real, more colorful, bigger, deeper… As you stay with the sensation, it will transform, it will go through a life cycle and it will fade out eventually.
When I want to feel some mutuality/connection with my rigger, during the workshop demo, I will connect myself to the remaining part of his attention. Maybe there are 10% for me, and the rest is with the students… I will connect myself to these 10% and I will intensify this connection by choosing to focus on it. Again, it is my choice and I make it bigger, deeper, more alive by attending to it.
You probably know what I’m talking about. You feel the attention of your rigger, with your skin, with your body, without looking, and you feel whether it’s 100% or 5%. Your choice is what you do with it and if you like to honor this 5%. You can make it matter.
I see my role as a rope bottom, not in co-creating shapes. I co-create an emotional experience, as a gift for both of us. It starts with feeling what is there, with utmost honesty.
And practice makes it better.