I often hear rope bottoms say, “I started as a rope bottom, but then I wanted to grow, so I started to tie.” While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with learning to tie, I don’t believe becoming a rigger is the only possibility to grow as a rope bottom. There’s much to learn and discover on the journey of being just a rope bottom. In general, I sometimes sense a lack of awareness about how much there is to explore if we take rope bottoming seriously and want to advance on that path…
Here are just a few things that came to my mind 🙂
What about presence?
Presence with ourselves, with our partners, and with the impact of the ropes… not disconnecting, not shutting down, but truly showing up – feeling what is happening and sharing the moment with the partner.
Presence in the body is a skill that takes time, practice, exercises, and repetition. We get better over time through deliberate practice. Rope bottoming can become your pathway or not, but it is definitely an opportunity for growth.
A very basic but crucial: consent skills?
Which is not just about asking before taking, but also about embodying your inner “Yes” and inner “No” (or “Maybe”;), feeling your limits in the moment, not two days later… and being able to communicate them. This is also closely related to boundaries – understanding the conditions of your trust, and knowing who you feel comfortable trusting and who you don’t.
Being expressful => interesting for photography?
And by this, I don’t mean acting. It’s not about putting on a performance, but rather about developing your emotional capacity and receptivity. It’s about being able to truly feel, to be moved by the actions of your partner, letting them in, somehow… I think it also takes honesty and courage to be vulnerable.
When we can express what we feel in the moment – through our body, movement, or facial expression – it adds a layer of depth and connection that is incredibly powerful and contributes to the photography.
Maybe it’s also true that rope bottoming requires us to delve deeply within ourselves – to face parts of ourselves in a very intense and vulnerable way. It’s a journey that can be confronting, and perhaps, it’s not something everyone is ready for or drawn to and this is also fair enough…
I can name so many more things that we can learn in ropes… There is resilience – our ability to rebalance ourselves after we’ve been moved, stretched, or impacted in ropes. It’s our strength to process the experience, regain our center, and continue with awareness and presence. Something that can take a whole life to learn…
Surrendering. Offering. Receiving. Submitting or “bratting” in ropes – whatever your dynamic is, it’s about fully embracing that role. Surrender can be challenging for many reasons. I’m not suggesting this is the way to be in ropes – not at all. But I do believe that finding your own expression, discovering what you bring into the ropes, and understanding your intention and story takes time.
Developing bottoming skills doesn’t necessarily require bottoming workshops, although they can be fun and inspiring. I feel it’s more about growing as a person and bringing that growth into the ropes. I would love to see more mature rope bottoms showcasing their unique essence, creating beautiful content, and sharing it for the pleasure of us all.
Picture from @_ddaall_ from recent shoot with Alexander MA <3